Relationship

SEX… The consolation prize..!!

 

2016 - 1

It was a full moon, high tide evening on the seashore where roaring waves were increasing the pulse rates of two hearts. Silent tears were rolling down, trickling into the sand from the two pairs of eyes on different beaches. It was HE and SHE, thinking about their pasts, recalling memories of last three years of their relationship that they had as a couple during their college days.

The memory list ranged from lectures that were bunked for spontaneous dates, a bike that ran miles for long rides, theatre’s corner seats that saw hugs and kisses, jungles and mountains that heard eco of ‘I love you’ and… beds that witnessed their sex.

HE, who was dumped by his Ex, with a vengeance mindset wanted to be ahead in the race of love. And SHE was fed-up with lonely days that were passing by looking at classmates dating someone. No doubt, suppressing these basic facts from themselves and each other, HIS physical personality and HER charismatic beauty were eager to blend with one another. The newfound, initial feelings of fondness made them to start their journey on the romantic path of a relationship; to which we generally call as ‘LOVE’!

Believe me or not, but real essence of this path can be experienced only when you walk caressingly on it by holding the hand of your partner. And this journey of love becomes more beautiful with unconditional acceptance, sincere faith, assertive trust and complementary adjustments towards each other.

In an adrenaline rush to feel the essence faster; impatient HE and SHE started running on the path of love. Acknowledging an unexplained myth that it will keep their relationship warm forever, in a very little period they decided to go far. And ultimately, the day came when their naked bodies intertwined each other.

Few months later, several factors such as HIS expectations from her to add him in a Facebook friend list and HER questions about having his Whatsapp last seen at the late mid night became causes of rift. Incapable both, to convince each other on such issues, in pursuit to fill the gap; started taking help of bed to leash and manage dudgeon of one another. Unknowingly their love became the cause of strain and sex became a linking thread.

Lacking with some emotional factors like acceptance, faith, trust and adjustment among them, very soon their meaning of ‘love’ became only ‘love making’. By the time when fluctuations in their relationship raised certain unanswered and wrongly answered questions about their reliability towards each other, they had already gambled with their lives. Finding it difficult to head back, never realized that their definition of ‘love’, now had moved from ‘mere love making’ to need, desire, hunger, lust and greed.

Today, all accumulated unsolved questions has resulted into broken relationship with no hopes of U-Turn. Defeated in love HE and SHE, cursing all their sexual moments, has put themselves into a condition where both can afford to keep one another in their thoughts but not in lives.

Friends, such situation draws our attention on important things about which everyone needs to introspect or retrospect at our own.

“Do we really fall in love with someone because we actually love the person or our decision is based on any external elements? Has the time become such a scarce resource that we cannot afford to spend it to think enough before undressing ourselves in front of someone? Are we so in a hurry in our life that we want to smell the fragrance of love by treading its flowers with our feet?”…. Strange…!!!

In my personal opinion, ‘actual pleasure is not the sex but the emotions through which sex is expressed and experienced’. So, it is not sex but our unwillingness to take some efforts to understand the tenderness of sexuality in relationships makes it hollow.

It is better to remember always that ‘we should fall in love to win the love’. Eventually, winning the love should only be a winning of love. And….

“Sex should never be a consolation prize if you cannot win the award of love…”

Categories: Emotions, Relationship, Sensitive Sexuality | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

‘Mr. Right’… Now

Adesh

A successful CEO was passing through the dark streets one evening in his Mercedes. As was his routine, the Mercedes moved at a fast pace when all of a sudden, it was hit by a stone that smashed into the door of the car. He hurried out in anger but was shocked and amazed to learn that a girl aged 12­-13 had thrown that stone. He yelled at her. “Who are you? What the hell you did? Do you have any idea of how much it will cost to repair these scratches?”

The teary-eyed girl pleaded, “I am sorry Sir for all this, but I didn’t know what else to do”. She pointed to a place where a handicapped woman had fallen down from her wheelchair. “She is my mother. We were returning home while she rolled off the curb and fell down. I tried a lot but it was too difficult for me to pick her up all by myself and help her back into her wheelchair. So, I would be obliged if you could help me”.

She added, “Actually for a very long time, I have been signaling and yelling out to the passing vehicles to stop and notice us. But those vehicles were either very fast or their windows were closed. So, no one noticed me and my humble plea. How I could not get even a single person to listen me? Hence, I had no other option but to use stone to get your attention.”

In the above incident all the girl wanted, was for someone who would pay a little attention and take a moment off their busy lives, to stop and listen to her. But she was compelled to take that step as a last resort.  In the story the girl and the CEO were strangers and that’s why the CEO’s inattention resulted merely in scratches on the car. But do we ever think about scratches that result in our relationships and subsequently in life due to unknowingly committing similar mistakes?

In a relationship, we often want to be perfect for our loved one and sincerely make every effort, work hard to be a successful, with an intention to make sure that your loved one is happy with you. We look to build a secure life around them and fill their lives with every conceivable materialistic requirements to ensure they have everything they possibly need. We try to do the best we can and be the best we can be. In other words, we often attempt to be ‘Mr. Right’.

But the question is, how often we contemplate about the emotional support that our loved one may ask for and that too when they desperately need a listening ear?

Sometimes situations arise in life where more than materialistic requirements, your loved one needs your attention. They might just want to tell you something, bring something into your notice that they find difficult to handle all by themselves or share something with you, for which probably you’re the only person. And sometimes it manifests in silently indicating, signaling and yelling to seek your attention.

If we keep ourselves so busy and engage in trying to achieve materialistic ends and running at such a fast pace on the street of our life that is too by keeping our ears closed like windows of those vehicles. Then probably your loved one has no other option but to make a scratch in your life, throwing a stone of their suppressed emotions. And the cost of repairing these scratches cannot be measured in monetary terms.

So friends, be alert and alive. Don’t go through your life so fast that your own dear one has to throw a stone towards you to get your attention.

In that case just being ‘Mr. Right’ is not enough… You need start being to be ‘Mr. Right Now’….!!!

Categories: Relationship | Tags: , | 2 Comments

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