Author Archives: Adesh Gurav

About Adesh Gurav

I have completed my education in B. Com, LL.B from Mumbai University and MBA in Social Entrepreneurship from NMIMS University, Mumbai. Graduation in commerce and professional degree in law lead me to start journey towards legal practitioner. In little less than a year, I realized that the legal profession did not satisfy my urge of impacting people’s mind set. And there was a growing realization in me that my purpose of life is to add value to the lives of people. In more than four years span after shifting from legal field, through various sources I got opportunities to train and counsel youth to overcome their personal and emotional problems. Till date I have handled more than 450 personal counselling sessions of emotionally distressed young adults and have got opportunity to contribute in more than 1000 lives through various training programmes. At the same time my association with some social institutions exposed me to social sector as well. The experiences that I got from such sessions and some unfavorable incidences in my own personal life made me conscious of the fact that urban young citizens are suffering because of inability of dealing with their emotional concern and are victims of ‘Emotional Stagnation’. Such victims, in spite of having tremendous potential, fails to nurture their uniqueness and live a mediocre and indecisive life. And all such things leads my desire to have career as a social entrepreneur in life skills training industry that enrich purpose of my life. Hence, I have founded a social enterprise, THE INSIDE YOU to help young citizens to be a winner instead of victim of emotions.

SEX… The consolation prize..!!

 

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It was a full moon, high tide evening on the seashore where roaring waves were increasing the pulse rates of two hearts. Silent tears were rolling down, trickling into the sand from the two pairs of eyes on different beaches. It was HE and SHE, thinking about their pasts, recalling memories of last three years of their relationship that they had as a couple during their college days.

The memory list ranged from lectures that were bunked for spontaneous dates, a bike that ran miles for long rides, theatre’s corner seats that saw hugs and kisses, jungles and mountains that heard eco of ‘I love you’ and… beds that witnessed their sex.

HE, who was dumped by his Ex, with a vengeance mindset wanted to be ahead in the race of love. And SHE was fed-up with lonely days that were passing by looking at classmates dating someone. No doubt, suppressing these basic facts from themselves and each other, HIS physical personality and HER charismatic beauty were eager to blend with one another. The newfound, initial feelings of fondness made them to start their journey on the romantic path of a relationship; to which we generally call as ‘LOVE’!

Believe me or not, but real essence of this path can be experienced only when you walk caressingly on it by holding the hand of your partner. And this journey of love becomes more beautiful with unconditional acceptance, sincere faith, assertive trust and complementary adjustments towards each other.

In an adrenaline rush to feel the essence faster; impatient HE and SHE started running on the path of love. Acknowledging an unexplained myth that it will keep their relationship warm forever, in a very little period they decided to go far. And ultimately, the day came when their naked bodies intertwined each other.

Few months later, several factors such as HIS expectations from her to add him in a Facebook friend list and HER questions about having his Whatsapp last seen at the late mid night became causes of rift. Incapable both, to convince each other on such issues, in pursuit to fill the gap; started taking help of bed to leash and manage dudgeon of one another. Unknowingly their love became the cause of strain and sex became a linking thread.

Lacking with some emotional factors like acceptance, faith, trust and adjustment among them, very soon their meaning of ‘love’ became only ‘love making’. By the time when fluctuations in their relationship raised certain unanswered and wrongly answered questions about their reliability towards each other, they had already gambled with their lives. Finding it difficult to head back, never realized that their definition of ‘love’, now had moved from ‘mere love making’ to need, desire, hunger, lust and greed.

Today, all accumulated unsolved questions has resulted into broken relationship with no hopes of U-Turn. Defeated in love HE and SHE, cursing all their sexual moments, has put themselves into a condition where both can afford to keep one another in their thoughts but not in lives.

Friends, such situation draws our attention on important things about which everyone needs to introspect or retrospect at our own.

“Do we really fall in love with someone because we actually love the person or our decision is based on any external elements? Has the time become such a scarce resource that we cannot afford to spend it to think enough before undressing ourselves in front of someone? Are we so in a hurry in our life that we want to smell the fragrance of love by treading its flowers with our feet?”…. Strange…!!!

In my personal opinion, ‘actual pleasure is not the sex but the emotions through which sex is expressed and experienced’. So, it is not sex but our unwillingness to take some efforts to understand the tenderness of sexuality in relationships makes it hollow.

It is better to remember always that ‘we should fall in love to win the love’. Eventually, winning the love should only be a winning of love. And….

“Sex should never be a consolation prize if you cannot win the award of love…”

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Categories: Emotions, Relationship, Sensitive Sexuality | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Fruitful Tragedies…!!

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While living last moments of his life on the ICU bed with the help of a ventilator, a seventy five years old, prosperous businessman in metal industry wanted to feel the essence of his life that he had lived so far.

Being the only child in a middle class family in Delhi, his early childhood was filled with joy and smiles until came the tragic demise of his mother when he was 5 years old. The distressed, widowed father sent him to a boarding school situated in the mega city of India called Pune. The schooling was started with a dream to become an engineer. Hence, he had to bottle-up his attraction towards a beautiful-eyed classmate. But the boarding school life gave him a tough, strong persona.

Getting back home after the completion of his schooling, he realized that he had to bear with his step mother and half-brother and this wasn’t happening at all. The day came when he decided to run away from his own house at the tender age of 17. He brought a railway ticket for Mumbai by selling off a few unused, metal rods lying at his house as ‘scrap’, metaphorically putting an end to his dream of becoming an engineer. But this incident had to mark a turning point in his life.

With his very little experience, he got to know that a metal has a good price in the scrap market. Hence, to get his livelihood in Mumbai, he used metal as a tool. He visited homes, collected metals and sold them in the market. Having tied-up with some metal scrap vendors, he made a good amount of money. With his toil, in little less than 5 years, he was able to take a shop on a lease and run it successfully.

His greedy landlord eyeing to take over his well-set shop, on completion of one year, refused to renew the lease agreement. Tragically, once again the boy had to leave his own shop. Learning lessons from this incident, all further lease agreements he had was for 5 years. With this approach, he achieved stability in his business and went on to become the owner of 15 metal shops across Mumbai at the age of 28.

Once, he got an opportunity to go for a big business deal in Chennai. With full preparation for the meeting, he took a flight from Mumbai to Chennai. But once again, tragically, after some time from the flight’s take-off the announcement of engine failure and emergency landing was made. When he was absorbed in his thoughts, ‘Though the emergency landing could save his life but not a business deal for which he worked for day and night’; the emergency landing took place at Pune airport.

Holding a cup of coffee in the waiting area at the Pune airport, unexpectedly, he saw those beautiful eyes once again on which he had a crush in his childhood. And then exchange of numbers, regular calls and frequent meets finally got converted into a happy and successful married life. He lost business, but got his real love who stood as strongest support system for him through out of his life.

On the other hand, the growth of his business was pricking in the eyes of his competitors. While dealing with the business politics, he was suggested with an idea of taking a big leap by establishing a metal processing factory. And after lots of struggle, finally, this dream came true. And the same business politics became reasons for his current success.

Today, when he is leaving the world, he has not only left lots of money, few factories and offices for the next generations, but also earned huge respect in the business world.

At this moment, looking at the ceiling of the ICU room, he is thinking, had there not been such tragic incidences in his life, he would have become an engineer working on a salary of few thousands and not what he is today.

With a big smile, he expressed his gratitude towards god for giving him The Fruitful Tragedies. And before taking a last breath he narrated the essence of human life in one sentence.

“Every tragedy of your life has hidden potentials to become a prodigy”.

So friends, lets realize and feel this essence now and not on the ICU bed while living last moments of our life with the help of a ventilator.

Categories: Dealing With Tragedies | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Values Are Valuable

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Topic for this month’s article is ‘Importance of character and moral as traits against corruption.

I believe that Character and Morals collectively constitutes values and whosoever we may be, values of our life always determines path of our journey.

To elaborate it further, I would like to share something with you all. Around five years back, while volunteering with an NGO; often I visited red light area that is situated in southern part of Mumbai; to carry-out some development work for the community.

The message of one poster that was displayed on gate of the particular building talks a lot about the topic that I am addressing today.

The poster said…

            Yess… we sell our body here… But if you want to do a business of Dignity…

            Police station is half kilometer away…

            Yess… we sell our body here… But if you want to do business of Honesty…

            Mantralaya (Offices of Ministers) is just three railway stations ahead…

            Yess… we have plenty of love for you… But if you want to do a business of Lust,

            Then this is not a place…instead just go and become religious guru of any religion…

Friends, since childhood we are listening and talking about corruption. And whenever we talk about it; we often held bureaucracy, government, administrative bodies, and judicial system responsible for it. Undoubtedly, they are responsible for corruption. But my question is… are they only responsible for this disease called corruption? Have we looked at other side of it?

I think, whether person is bureaucratic person or general public like you and me. Doesn’t matter. But if a person is lacking with Character, Morals, Values in terms of Dignity, Honesty and Love, I think that person is responsible for this disease. And hence, that poster was talking about the business of these three things.

We are well aware that business transaction can not happen without two parties, that is buyer and seller. If you are either buyer or seller of Dignity, Honesty and Love, you are responsible for the corruption. You must be thinking how..!! Right..?? Let me explain…

If any non-parliamentary transaction of 100 rupees is happening between traffic police and person caught driving without license. That means, they both are keeping their Dignity at a stake.

If any non-parliamentary transaction of 1000 rupees is happening at any government department for completing small tasks and procedure, it means both are keeping their Honesty at a stake.

If any non-parliamentary transaction of 10000 rupees is happening between you and your religious gurus, just to express your Love towards your own god; unknowingly both are encouraging corruption by keeping their Love at a stake.

And that’s how character, morals, values becomes important in the fights against corruption. If you seriously wish to breath in corruption free environment; Never… Ever… do business of your Dignity, Honesty and Love.

Theme of this 2015 vigilance week is ‘Preventing vigilance as a tool of good governance.’ And I believe that preventive measures are nothing but values and morals on which we live our life.

Friends, for a moment keep aside a thought of eradicating corruption. And today, lets us take a pledge to prevent and protect our own Dignity, Honesty and Love in the fight against corruption.

Because, corruption is not only about giving and taking bribe. It’s all about allowing other person to play and manipulate with your Dignity, Honesty and Love.

To conclude, I just want to say that by keeping your morals and values at a stake you may become rich, may be a billionaire. You may own various places and properties that will reflect on the assets side of you balance sheet under titles as fixed assets and variable assets. But… never forget that biggest asset of your life is the place that you create in the heart of people and in your own eyes.

(This article has been awarded as winning speech delivered by me, in intra college elocution competition organized by Indian Oil Corporation Limited in association with Jasani center of Social Entrepreneurship-NMIMS, Social Responsibility Forum-NMIMS, and NMIMS Toastmasters to celebrate the Vigilance Awareness Week)

Categories: Destiny Creator, Destiny Designing | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

The First Pen… that told us something!!

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A daughter of my family friend is student of fifth standard and very soon going to celebrate her tenth birthday. Few days back, while having conversation with her she said that after winter vacation her school has made it compulsory for entire class to use pen while writing and use of pencil is restricted only to certain extend. Nothing new… Right?? Even we all have followed such mandates in our childhood.

So, I decided to gift her, a fountain pen on her coming birthday, which she can use at her school. Thus, I approached to a very famous pen mart located in south Mumbai to select a suitable one for her, as a gift. The salesman eagerly explained to me the features of a set of a fountain pen and ink bottle that I liked most. With the help of similar demo pen he started explaining it with practical experiments.

He wrote something on normal piece of a paper and literally sprinkled water over it. Surprisingly, nothing happened to the written content on the paper. In spite of trying to erase it with hand, content remained as it was. He said, “No matter what you write, how you write, where you write; it will be impossible to erase the content written by the pen.”

Opps…!! I was stunned; I looked at him with blank face because his statement muted me. More than a features of the pen, I was amazed to learn a crucial lesson of life that pen tried to teach us in our childhood.

Let’s take ourselves to our school days and become a student of fifth standard now and remember those days when we were allowed to use pencil for writing in lectures, homework and exams. You might remember your mother getting impatient and asking you, checking your bag to make sure that you are carrying an eraser along with your pencil so that the mistakes that we might do could be rectified immediately to ensure that performance and presentation is neat, clean and tidy.

With this we were equipped with the tools that was kind enough to us to erase our mistakes. Sometimes the naughty and innocent child within us might have hidden those mistakes that our parents and teachers would never come to know and even today they might be secret. Hence, with pencil we used to write audaciously and comfortably.

One day, we received a notice saying that use of pen is compulsory. We were happy with the feeling and the thought that we have grown up now; we are no more kids as we used to be, and with lots of joy, we held The First Pen…!!

That first pen told us something… to which we never paid attention.

When we started to write with a pen, it told us, “As you are growing up, hereafter it will be difficult, probably impossible for you to run away from the mistakes and errors that you might commit in your life. To rectify that, at the most you can cancel it or overwrite it. But you can neither erase it nor hide it. And cancelling, overwriting may cause for dirty and untidy performance in your life.”

Friends, there may be many reasons behind the replacement of the pencil with a pen, for the students after a particular age. But I believe that the major reason is to make them aware and realize that here onwards…

“No matter what you do, how you do, where you do; it will be impossible to erase those moments.”

Categories: Destiny Creator, Destiny Designing | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

The Hidden Bravery…!!

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As I walked out of my college gate at 11 o’clock last night, a cat stepped in front of me, crossed my way and I was stuck. Not because of any superstitious belief but because the beautiful features of the cat that drew my attention. It was a healthy, white colored cat with beautiful orange colored stripes. Her gait made me associate her with a beautiful queen, walking in her kingdom in immerse of her beauty. I was silently laughing in my mind with my own thoughts. However, the cat was preparing herself to teach me a beautiful lesson of life.

I could not be sure but the cat should probably be living in the residential society adjacent to my college building. Last night, the cat tried to enter the society, but suddenly a ferocious dog started barking and attacked her. Unexpectedly, a challenge mounted in front of her.  To rescue herself the cat started shrieking and running helter-skelter.

To find a secure place, she tried to enter into the college premises but there was another challenge – the gatekeeper, who didn’t allow her in. Then she went underneath the car parked nearby and hide herself behind wheel. Driver of the car had to get going so he had to get her out.

The street-food stall nearby was crowded with food lovers and stall keepers. The cat was probably expecting a ray of hope from those people, which again seemed a futile effort as shopkeepers prohibited the cat from hiding under their stall.

Another way the cat could find was to cross the road and go onto the opposite side. But constantly moving vehicles on the road were like a deathtrap for her. Somehow when the cat managed to cross the road halfway, onto the divider, she found that the height of the divider was a big hurdle in order for her to jump off safely and find her way across the road. After lot of effort, she finally made it to the other side.

But…!!! Oh My God…!!

To my utter surprise, it was appalling to see that this time cat found herself trapped amidst a gang of 3-4 dogs. And the earlier tricky situation had now reappeared in a monstrous form.

Perhaps at this moment, the cat might realize as to why such things are happening with her. After mustering up her courage, she came back to the gate of the society where she had initially wanted to enter, the very same place… where the problem had first begun. A place…where she was faced with that one fearful situation and ran away; that invited a string of even worst problematic situations.

The ferocious dog was still there. Now the only option she was left with was to accept the situation and deal with it. The dog barked and attacked her again. But this time the cat didn’t run, instead she stood her ground. With full of anger cat shouted, screamed and tried to frighten dog. With a show of courage, she scared the dog away by playing the same card back on him.

Unexpectedly, the dog stopped barking at cat and back down two-three steps. With this, the space that cat got was enough for her to enter into the society. Giving full tussle by looking straight into the eyes of dog, cat stepped into the society, with a winning gesture.

That’s how a little exploration of ‘The Hidden Bravery’ not only saved her but gave her winning mindset too. And this whole drama, which lasted less than 5 minutes, taught me a beautiful lesson that…

“Running away from challenges in our life is the race that we can never win.”

So friends, in circumstances of challenging situation explore your Hidden Bravery. Look straight into the eyes of challenge and ask a simple question… What Do You Want..??

And believe me the answer in reply you will get is… NOTHING

Categories: Dealing With Tragedies | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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